Revolution: Home Hurts
“Dealing with Your Imperfect Home” Hebrews. 12:10-14
What TV shows do you watch that have families in them?
Do these families seem healthy to you? Or do they just seem normal in today’s society?
What do TV families teach us about being a family member?
In this series we’ve been talking about times when “home hurts” – when our families cause us problems and pain. Last week we looked at “Expressing Hurt in a Hurting Home”, and this week we are going to look at how to deal with an imperfect home, but first we must realize that there are reasons and results for imperfect homes. Once we understand these two factors we can begin to deal and react to these imperfections. If your family is causing you some hurt, here are a few possible reasons.
- Reasons:
1. It’s possible that people in your family are just acting badly.
They’re intending to harm you. That’s a harsh thing to say, but some families are like that. We saw some similar cases throughout our videos. It’s sort of a worst-case scenario, but if that’s your situation, then Genesis 5:20 fits right in. They intend to harm you, but God is going to make something good out of it. They will have to answer to God for their actions. You need to trust that God has a great future in store for you.
2. The family member(s) who are hurting you could be acting out of their own pain or weakness.
This is very common. Parents who divorce aren’t trying to hurt the kids; they’re just struggling with their own stuff. Parents who tear down your self-esteem might be replaying the way their parents treated them. Turn to Luke 23:34. Jesus was dying on the cross and he said this…READ.
The Romans were specialist at crucifying people. The leaders who convicted Jesus were trying to get him killed. Didn’t they know exactly what they were doing?
They didn’t accept or realize that this was the Son of God they were executing.
Sometimes people hurt other people without knowing the full extent of their actions. We can offer them Jesus’ forgiveness, understanding that “they don’t know what they’re doing.”
3. Sometimes we suffer hurt when it’s really just good discipline.
When we break the rules, we always think we have good reasons, good excuses, and good exceptions to those rules. It seems unfair when parents refuse to accept these explanations. But we have a way of tilting things in our direction. Things seem unfair just because they’re not going our way.
Turn to Heb. 12:10-14. In this passage, the writer compares parental discipline with God’s discipline, and he says some interesting things about this.
How does discipline feel?
- Results:
What could be some of the results from each of the reasons?
What are the results to healthy discipline?
Parents aren’t perfect. (I know that comes as a shock to some of you.) Sometimes they make decisions that are unfair to you. But even in those cases, you can be thankful that they care how you live. They are trying to bring about that “harvest of righteousness and peace” in your life.
Discipline from parents can be tough to take. The same is true of God’s discipline. That’s what Hebrews is saying. When life gets tough for you – if your home becomes a source of hurt rather than healing – understanding that God will use those tough experiences to shape you into the person he wants you to be. Other people may have bad intentions, but God will use it all for his good purpose.
- Reaction “How to Deal”
So what can you do when “home hurts?”
- Remember that God is still in charge.
- Accept discipline when appropriate.
- Forgive, even when you have been wronged. Parents aren’t perfect.
- And, NEVER lose sight of the fact that God is working in you, using these difficult situations to shape a great human being.
*For more helpful illustrations and videos go to bluefish.com
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